Vegas, baby

I'm en route to Chicago for the weekend and stopped at the Las Vegas airport, where I haven't been in ages. It's not even 9:00am and there are big, fat people hypnotically playing the slot machines over and over again. Yes, there are slot machines at the airport!

But I'm really appreciative of the free wi-fi I've discovered at several airports recently! I was able to input today's foods into my online diet log...

There are two things clowns make around here: balloon animals and enemies

I'm glad Pushing Daisies is back for Season 2! It's such a fun, clever, entertaining show and I'm totally into how quirky it is. The only thing I could do without is the "murder of the week" procedural format, but I guess if it helps to get new viewers, I'll live with it.

Damaged

The other night, Making the Band 4 left us with quite a cliffhanger! It seems that our lovely ladies of Danity Kane can't stand each other! They show up to do their job, but otherwise would rather have nothing to do with one another.

It's a complete turn from when they first were about to form the band and Aundrea and Aubrey declared their never-ending sisterhood and love for each other. They were the only two contestants to survive the first season, and they actually made it into the group. It was so touching and I thought their friendship would last forever.

Well, I guess Aundrea (my favorite) has had enough and she considered abandoning the group! And at the end of the most recent episode, it looked like Diddy kicked Aubrey to the curb and she's out of the group! I don't know whether to believe this or not, but I wouldn't really care if she were gone. She was fantastic and lovable when she was auditioning, but she's become such a bratty, annoying diva that the other girls might be better off without her.

Unfit

This panda is officially out of shape. Yesterday, as part of my new gym membership, I took advantage of a training session where the trainer performed all these tests to determine my fitness level. He used the fat callipers to measure my body fat, performed a cardio test with a heart monitor, took my blood pressure and asked me to perform various stretches and exercises.

I last underwent similar testing a few years ago, and my how things have changed. My body fat percentage has increased about 5 percent, I'm the heaviest I've ever been and my blood pressure has shot up. The only bright spot is that I'm in relatively good aerobic fitness, but I'm sure I'm at a lower level than I was when I used to actually perform aerobic exercise.

During the diagnostic, the trainer asked me a series of questions and I could tell he was horrified when I estimated the number of alcoholic drinks I consume in a week. And I even low-balled my answer! It's diet time...

On probation

In every meeting where I'm presenting or meeting someone for the first time, my boss introduces me as, "This is Panda!!!!. He's our new Director of Corporate Citizenship and he is absolutely the right man for this job..."

It strikes me as odd that she has to defend the fact that I occupy my current position, but I have a feeling that she's also defending her decision to hire me. I, of course, am a reflection on her, but it's weird to be reminded so many times that there may have been opposition to my employment. It also makes me feel that, at any moment, someone might decide that I'm not right for the job and I'll have to join my brothers and sisters in the gutters of the Tenderloin.

More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette

There's a fascinating exhibit of tobacco ads from the 1920s through the 1950s that recently opened at the New York Public Library and I'm completely flabbergasted by some of the imagery used. Doctors? Babies and kids? Athletes? Santa Claus?!

Wow.

Boy don't try to front I, I know just, just what you are are are

Britney's new song "Womanizer" is a terrible piece of trash that easily gets stuck in my poor little panda head. I keep trying to tune it out, but the stupid "are are are" refrain just lodges itself into my brain.

I am, however, to see what the video has in store for us! Hopefully this comeback is for realz.