Chin-jured

For the past few weeks, I've been suffering from a little deformity on my chin - a little something I've referred to as my "chin cancer." In reality, I believe it's a wart, but I'm no doctor, so I can't be sure.

This morning, I finally went to visit the dermatologist to deal with the situation. And to be cautious, she decided to scrape it off my face and send it to "the lab" for testing.

First of all, why I had to get completely undressed and wear a hospital gown in order to fix a blemish on my chin is beyond me. Something about being a first-time patient. Whatevs.

After excising the chin cancer, she applied a few gauze pads and taped up my chin, with instructions to remove it 30 minutes later. As I walked home, people naturally stared at my chin, and the folks at Starbucks did a pretty good job of acting extra-chipper and pretending I didn't have a big white blob of gauze stuck to my lower jaw. It was especially cute trying to talk with my mouth numb from the anasthesia, too!

When I got home, I realized the blood had soaked through the gauze, so I looked like a diseased freak. And now that more than 30 minutes has passed, I decided to remove the gauze and the former location of my chin cancer has started gushing blood. Like Niagara Falls-style.

Following the doctor's orders, I put a band-aid on the spot, but that was soaked through within seconds and dripping all around the pad. I soaked through several sheets of paper towel and now I have applied a huge bandage, suitable for a scraped knee, on my lower jaw. It seems to be doing the trick, but I think it's making the cats nervous.