Movie note: Lost Boys: The Tribe

ONE STAR

But why did Corey (Haim? Feldman? Feldman. Haim died, right?) speak like he was constipated the entire time?

Movie note: Monsoon Wedding

THREE STARS

People eat marigolds?

Movie note: Tangled

THREE STARS

My, what big eyes they have!

Movie note: Clash of the Titans

TWO STARS

They're making a sequel to this boring mess? I wish they hadn't discarded the clockwork owl.

Movie note: The Tourist

TWO STARS

Nice clothes!

Movie note: Burlesque

THREE STARS

Xtina did a better job than Elizabeth Berkley and Cher makes a great Robin Antin!

Movie note: TRON Legacy

THREE STARS

How did they know to film all those scenes when Jeff Bridges was younger? I should have seen this when it was in the theater.

Movie note: Unstoppable

THREE STARS

That guy from My Name Is Earl sure is a jackass.

Movie note: Alice in Wonderland

TWO STARS

Apparently, it's "Underland." Also known as "Boringland."

Movie note: The Social Network

FOUR STARS

This movie almost makes me want to delete my facebook page, then follow in Zuckerberg's footsteps by moving to the Bay Area from Boston.

Movie note: Morning Glory

THREE STARS

Why on earth would you name a television network "IBS"? Also, Harrison Ford makes a terrible newscaster.

Movie note: The King's Speech

FOUR STARS

I can only imagine what poor Bertie's life might have been like were there tabloids and paparazzi. This movie has piqued my curiosity about his older brother's life.

Movie note: Love and Other Drugs

THREE STARS

Nudity! Is it just me, or did the brothers depicted in this movie have an unusual relationship?

Movie note: Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

FOUR STARS

Cute movie, but why do all the bunnies have pig snouts?

Movie note: Into the Blue

THREE STARS

As expected, thin plot and pretty people.

Movie note: Wonderland

TWO STARS

This apparently isn't one of those movies where you can fall asleep at the beginning and expect to understand everything that's going on. Also, this is a true story?

Movie note: All Over the Guy

TWO STARS

I think I'm too old for this type of movie about twentysomethings in unrealistic relationships. Also, maybe I should stop watching movies where everyone has answering machines.

Movie note: Born Into Brothels

FOUR STARS

These kids sure do take good photos! Too bad their parents are such whores.

Movie note: Blow

THREE STARS

Pee Wee Herman was especially good at playing a gay hairdresser/coke dealer.

Movie note: Grown Ups

TWO STARS

One extra star for making fun of Massholes!