Motorbike madness

On Day 3 of my visit to Ho Chi Minh City, I finally got the chance to leave the hotel. On today's agenda was a factory visit outside of the city, so a car picked me up to ensure that I got to the right place.

The streets of Ho Chi Minh are swarming with motorbikes. It's a pretty unbelievable sight - thousands of people on their bikes, zipping along, moving with or against the "flow" of traffic, weaving through each other and through any cars in the road and basically causing chaos.

At first, it's simply overwhelming, but soon you realize there's a certain rhythm to it. People aren't really aggressive drivers like in the states and there seems to be an unspoken rule about road etiquette. Even when the traffic lights are out (which is often, thanks to unstable electricity), people maneuver through intersections just fine, not really stopping for each other, but slowing down to make way for oncoming or turning traffic.

The only place I've visited that compares is Delhi, but there the density of motorbikes doesn't quite compare to what I've seen today. And where there are motorbikes in Delhi, they're usually loaded with entire families, which I haven't seen here in HCMC ... as much.

Smokey Saigon

One thing I can't stand about Ho Chi Minh so far is that people smoke everywhere. Maybe this isn't true throughout the city, but it certainly is the case in my hotel. I've basically spent the last two days in a hotel conference room, and each time I emerge into the common area, I'm overwhelmed by the stench of cigarette smoke.

People simply lounge on couches, lean against columns or ride the escalators while smoking cigarettes! I suppose it's too hot and humid to go outside to smoke, but I really cannot stand how there's stale cigarette smoke everywhere.

The strangest place to smoke, in my opinion, is the restroom, where ashtrays are built into the walls above each urinal. And some of them have cigarette butts extinguished in them.

Plee hep yosef

I arrived in Ho Chi Minh yesterday into the onslaught of motorbikes, honking horns and a variety of odors. Vietnam is as busy and crazy as everyone said, but I haven't really had the chance to visit since I was taken to the hotel from the airport and we spent the entire day meeting in one of the hotel ballrooms.

My only time out and about in Ho Chi Minh was to walk around the block to a tapas restaurant that was hosting a reception. Along the way, people implored me to eat at their restaurants, declared various exclamations and probably offered a massage or something. As I passed two women sitting on the curb, one said to me, "My new boyfren! I jus meet heem! I jus meet heem!"

Which brings me to a question. Why don't the Vietnamese pronounce the ends of words? Especially in those cases where words end in "s," there seems to be a general inability to seal the deal phonetically.

Yet, their words don't just drift off like the French. Instead, it's a strange mix of staccato and dropped consonants. At least it keeps me on my toes.

Family time

I can't, in good conscience, come to Hong Kong without seeing my family, but this visit had me missing my parents like ships passing in the night. When I arrived for my night at the airport, they headed to Shanghai, and when I returned, they were still gone.

But after my dad returned yesterday, and after we finally got in touch, he rounded up his brother and sister and they came over to my hotel to catch up. It turns out they (except for my dad, who was traveling from Shanghai) spent their Sunday in typical fashion: at the races.

I felt guilty for not joining my family during my brief time in Hong Kong (and not getting to see my grandmother), but I would have been bored out of my skull had they dragged me to the races. I've been there every single time I come to town and the novelty has sure worn off.

It was nice, however, to see my dad, uncle and aunt for a brief moment yesterday while we were all in town. And it was nice of them to trek to my hotel for a nightcap, but basically we spent the time looking forward to Lil' Bro' Panda!!!!'s wedding.

Harbourside run

Feeling particularly motivated this morning, I woke up early, consulted the hotel's suggested jogging routes, "stretched," and headed out for a morning run along the Hong Kong harbour! After some really uncomfortable first moments where my body simply didn't understand what was going on, I got into a rhythm and found myself overtaking other morningtime leisure-type athletes and old grannies walking to their tai chi sessions.

I followed the hotel's route along the Avenue of the Stars, past the creepy Bruce Lee statue and down to some clocktower, turned around and found myself back at the starting point ... approximately 10 minutes later. So, I followed the second, shorter, suggested route and found myself back at the start 5 minutes after that.

15 minutes of running seems quite sufficient, so I'm about to head downstairs to the breakfast buffet!

Alias

The factory I visited yesterday, while operating in China, was run by Korean owners and managers. So for lunch, they sent us to a nearby Korean barbecue restaurant.

Our server was a very stern-looking, tiny-framed Chinese woman who efficiently took our order, fired up the grill and began cooking our meats. She wore the restaurant's blue flight attendant-esque uniform and answered any questions we had with single-word responses. Her shiny gold nametag read, "HARRY."

I wondered if her name truly was Harry or if she borrowed a colleague's nametag. I didn't dare ask, lest I get stabbed in the eye by her metal meat pincers.

The unsparkly side of making jewelry

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit a jewelry factory for the first time. This wasn't a high-end factory that fashions pieces out of precious metals and semi-precious stones. Instead, it was a factory that churns out the very trendy costume jewelry that's found in women's fashion stores everywhere.

My first impression was that the factory was much smaller than any other I'd ever been to before. Unlike clothing factories that are several floors tall with multiple, long production lines next to one another, the jewelry factory was very modest, with only a handful of tables around which workers performed their tasks.

It was also remarkably more quiet than a typical clothing factory where the whir of sewing machines or knitting machines is ever-present in the background. In this facility, there was hardly any sound and each worker simply sat at her station - polishing stones, searching for imperfections on beads or linking plastic "jewels" together.

The factory was also spotless. Whereas clothing factories tend to have stray pieces of fabric and thread floating around, the floors of this facility were free of any debris. And I found the raw materials storage to be interesting. Instead of huge shelves with bolts of fabric, there was a simple room with plastic jars filled with different colored and shaped beads and rolls of chains and ribbon.

So, overall, it was a good factory ... until I stuck my nose in the back. Adjacent to the factory was another room that was poorly lit and filthy. I asked the production manager what was happening in this room and he explained that it was legally a separate factory, even though it was housed in the same building. Without any distinctive sign or a separate entrance, it was hard for me to believe that it truly was a separate factory. And to outsiders, there really is no way to differentiate one from another.

We decided to walk through this second factory, even though it wasn't technically the one we were auditing. The air was think with cigarette smoke and cigarette butts were strewn all over the floor. Unlike the other factory's production tables, this factory's was smaller, with more workers cramped around it. A few workers seemed to be doing their tasks while seated on the floor and there were piles of trash accumulating in the corners.

Another room had four men casting metals for intricate pieces. They sat at their stations, fixed the rubber casts together and poured molten-hot liquids into the centrifuge, creating mixed-metal pieces. Other workers in this room were polishing these metal pieces furiously.

Three men in another room were filing down beads onto a huge, whirring sander. As we entered, the woman in charge of this section of the factory handed out flimsy masks and gloves to the workers. Clearly, they hadn't been wearing any personal protective equipment before our arrival.

In yet another room, large drums spun rocks and water together, creating stones for jewelry with smooth edges. A man in flip-flops loaded the machines, added chemicals to create the desired effects, and released the water onto the ground and down a drain - one that seemed to go directly into the ground below the facility without being treated.

In the final room we walked through, workers concentrated as they used tiny soldering instruments to fuse chains and metal pieces together. Without any eye protection, I had to wonder if they were in any danger from leaning into such a dangerous-looking activity.

The two factories were night-and-day and it was shocking to see how deplorable the conditions were in the second factory. I can't say for certain that it truly is a second factory, but the one we visited showed us the separate business licenses and rental agreements. Even so, the poorer factory may be a raw materials supplier to the one we contract with - definitely something to look out for.

And walking through the factory's boardroom, I saw samples from almost every major women's clothing and accessories retailer in the US. It produces beautiful work and obviously supplies many brands, but my visit highlighted for me some of the riskier aspects of working in the accessories business.

Roly poly fish heads

On Thursday night, my first night in Qingdao, my host took me to a Qingdao seafood restaurant for dinner - apprently one of the best in the city. We arrived at a building situated right on the shore, with garish flashing neon lights (like every building any any major Chinese city).

Once shown to our table, we were instructed that there were no menus, and that we had to walk through another series of rooms to select our meal. A daintly Chinese hostess with mobile phone in hand led us to the first area: the smoked meats. Did we want any smoked duck heads? If so, we were to simply point at the ones that looked most delicious.

We declined the smoked meats (We are here for seafood!) and went to the sea cucumber section. In the middle of a giant display was a large, shallow tupperware full of live sea cucumbers. Around the tub were plates with plastic sea cucumbers adorning other plastic versions of foods. Sea cucumber prepared with noodles? Sea cucumber in a fancy papaya? Take your pick!

We picked none and went to the live fish area. We stared at a wall of tanks for a while and watched dinner swim around. My host selected a nice-looking fella, and a man came over to scoop him up and weigh him. Once confirmed that we wanted to eat this guy, my host explained how we would like it prepared and he headed off.

We stopped next at the shellfish section and selected a few clams, scallops and some other tube-like guys. We passed on all the crabs, lobsters and scorpions. Yes, scorpions! About a dozen scorpions were in a tub, crawling around a brick. I did not dare get too close.

We breezed through the tame noodle and dumpling land where bowls of plastic noodles and plates of plastic dumplings were supposed to entice us. At vegetable land, we selected some leafy greens and headed to soup land, our final destination. We'd selected enough food, so we went to sit down.

The meal was quite delicious and we definitely ordered way too much food. The total meal, with rice and beverages, came to approximately USD$40. A pretty good deal for some very fresh food!

Re-connected

It looks like I blogged too soon. After approximately 30 minutes of internet freedom on blogger, twitter, facebook, etc. my civil liberties were snatched away! For the rest of my time in China, I was unable to connnect to the above sites and my internet connection as a whole was pretty spotty.

Now back in Hong Kong, I am able to share the dumb things that go through my head with the world again!

Part of me wonders if it's a technique used by the Chinese government to provide a superbly frustrating internet experience for Chinese citizens, in an effort to disuade them from experiencing the information superhighway. Conspiracy theory or reality? Hmmm...

Corporate firewall oasis

Arriving in Qingdao, I plugged in my computer, fired up the internets and received a helpful pop-up message from my hotel:

Kindly be advised that some websites, for example Facebook, YouTube and Twitter, are not accessible in this region due to regulatory reasons.

I'd totally forgotten that I was behind the Great Firewall of China! I logged onto my beloved, innocent www.chiieew.blogspot.com and that, too was blocked by the Chinese internet authorities!

Fortunately, once I established a secure VPN, I was able to blog, tweet and post to facebook freely again. YouTube, however is still verboten, but that's the doings of my unevenly Communist company, not the Chinese government.

Carbon bread

Today's very fun activity was flying from Hong Kong to Qingdao, China. During the meal service on my flight, I was offered a bread basket with three types of bread. Before I selected my piece, I noticed that one type was ... black. Like black as night!

I asked the flight attendant what it was and she nicely pointed to each variety for me: "Garlic bread [that one I totally figured out, given the aluminum foil and the butter], tomato casserole [um, not sure about that one, since it looked like a boring roll to me] and carbon bread." I didn't quite understand what the third bread was, so she had to repeat it for me. Carbon bread. Carbon.

I was too taken aback by its appearance to try it, but I'm really curious now. If they offer it to me on the way back, I'll have to give it a go!

Movie note: Date Night

THREE STARS

It was funny enough, but I really fixated more on how make-up can make Marky Mark's necklace tattoo and third nipple disappear.

Turning Cantonese

After a very long day of flying, I landed in Hong Kong a few hours ago. Fresh off the European vacation, my mind started to translate English phrases into French, in case I had to, you know, speak to anyone. But I quickly remembered that I was among my Chinese cousins in the motherland, so forced myself to think about foods - the only Cantonese words that make sense to me.

Even though everyone speaks English, I still try to use some Cantonese when I can. After I collected my bag, I went to the information kiosk for the Regal Airport Hotel, where I'm staying tonight (adjacent to the airport) and forced out the following utterances:

[In English] Hello,
[In Cantonese] I want
[In "English"] Ree-go Air-por Ho-teww
[In Cantonese] I can walk?

It's not unusual for me to piece together some Cantonese phrases to get by, nor is it unusual for me to inflect any English words with a Chinese accent while in Hong Kong. I figure it helps with the whole communication thing. It's a sub-conscious behavior, but when I think about it, I feel like a jackass.

Shiver me timbers

I think Europe made me sick. This morning I woke up all stiff and achey with a nasty headache (and there's no way I could have been hungover) and throughout the day I've been sweating and shivering. Today's drug of choice has been ibuprofen and this illness totally threw a wrench into everything I planned to do.

Paris rendez-vous

For our last night of vacation, Puppy and I crashed Charlotte York and her new husband's honeymoon! Just last week we figured out that our Parisian getaways would overlap, so we made plans to partake in French cuisine together.

We started the evening at a cafe, sampling a beer-based concoction that was very similar to what we had in Berlin a few days ago. This version, however, was much sweeter and I didn't even finish mine.

Then we headed around the corner to a small restaurant that Charlotte York's husband had read about - only it was a different restaurant under a completely different name. As we ordered our food, the waiter stopped me as I ordered my starter and wanted to be sure it was something I'd eat. He said it was a very "strange" dish and that I probably wouldn't like it. Being a fairly adventurous eater, I stuck to my guns and said I'd like to try it. He then rushed over to the kitchen and brought back a little dish of it - some very gristly meat in a mayonnaise-based sauce. It wasn't great, but I wasn't entirely repulsed by it. So, I ordered it anyway. The waiter also told us the wine we ordered wasn't very good, so he recommended another one that turned out to be quite nice. I guess you can't criticize him for being dishonest!

Instead of polishing off our meal with dessert at the restaurant, we headed to another brasserie for a nightcap and some sweets. Puppy inhaled a chocolate mousse, Charlotte York had a lovely belle helene and I enjoyed some tried-and-true profiteroles.

It's been quite a few months since we've all gotten together, so it was very nice to catch up. And now that Puppy and I don't live in San Francisco, these chances to get together really are few and far between. Luckily, we'll always have Paris!

Sightsee, shop, eat, repeat

After zipping through the Louvre this morning (We basically hustled to the Mona Lisa, then left), Puppy and I hit up the uber-chic store, Collette. It was craziness in there, with tons of fashion-types clamoring over all the clothes, gadgets, books, etc. It was a cute store and I understand why people love it, but I think I would have loved it more with fewer people and less obnoxious employees.

We then set off to lunch on croques madames. So yummy! I could totally have another right now.

Un nuit a Paris

Oh mon Dieu que j'aime Paris! Puppy and I went to Les Philosophes and had a pretty amazing meal (French onion soup and steak au poivre with cheesecake for Puppy, tarte tatin with boeuf borgignon and affogato for me) before heading to les bars of le marais.

We ended up at the same bar as last night and made friends with a bunch of Americans. One was in the Peace Corps, others were documentary directors and another was "finding himself" during a break from the NYC craziness.

We tried our best to be polite, but most of them (in my opinion) were totes dumb so we left and went home.

Label whore hotel

And now for a brief word about our accommodations in Paris. Like the one in our Berlin hotel, the room we're sharing is pretty small - to be expected on the Continent, I guess.

At three-times the price (still reasonable considering Paris standards), however, the hotel is much fancier than our Berlin digs. And the hotel is very much into labels. All the bath products are Hermes, the bathroom features a tile with the Versace logo (indicating that it was designed by Versace home?) and has a Bang & Olufsen television.

We haven't made any other designer discoveries, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Paris, je mange

After sleeping in a bit, we began today's food-based tour of Paris. We first swung by a boulangerie for our morning pain au chocolat before heading to the Eiffel Tower to visit the top. Puppy got a chocolate/banana crepe and I got a chicken panini for the walk from the metro station.

Ascending the Eiffel Tower requires quite a bit of waiting and a lot of tolerating obnoxious tourists (American and otherwise). Once you get up there, however, it is an exceptional view and really cool to consider that a team of people were smart enough to build such a structure. I certainly am nowhere near that bright.

We then headed to the BHV men's store, looked at expensive-type clothes and went to a bistro for some lunch. Puppy opted for the traditional croque madame and I had the day's special - a very delicious artichoke ravioli in mushroom sauce. And I ate up all the amazingly crusty baguette that was placed on our table.

We walked to the Centre Georges Pompidou and were enticed into a patisserie where I indulged in a macaron au chocolat and Puppy had a chocolate eclair. You see, we needed it for our walk to Notre Dame, which was several meters away.

We braved more crowds and walked through the cathedral before returning to the marais, where we did a bit more walking and some shopping. I'm pretty beat from walking around, but I have a feeling all the walking won't come close to counteracting all the calories I consumed today.

Paris, je t'aime

After sleeping in this morning, Puppy and I taxied over to Tegel airport and headed off to Paris for the 2nd part of our European getaway. For me, Paris is a city that induces huge fits of nostalgia - one that probably makes me very annoying to be around since every metro station, landmark or major road triggers some sort of memory.

Take, for example, the Virgin Megastore on the Champs d'Elysees. Not just a record store. Instead, it's where Policy Wonkette, The Communist and I saw a little-known boy band called Worlds Apart perform amidst a crowd of frantic tweens. And this was before the term "tween" meant anything.

Having spent a semester abroad in Paris, I sort of claim it as a city where I've "lived," even though my time spent here was very limited. And I haven't purposefully taken a trip to Paris in more than 10 years, so it's not a city I know very well anymore, despite my best efforts.

Besides layovers at the airport, the last time I found myself here was in 2004 when my parents, brother and I were "stranded" for 24 hours because we missed a connecting flight in Italy. I dragged my family along a whirlwind tour of the city, insisting we see every sight and taste every pastry before we were forced to return to the States.

This time, however, we have a bit more time, so I hope to be a bit more thoughtful in showing Puppy around for his first time. We checked into the hotel (a definite step above the one we stayed at in Berlin), and hustled over ot l'Arc de la Triomphe and took some pretty generic photos.

Puppy asked me all sorts of questions I couldn't answer, then we ambled along le Champs d'Elysees and did a bit more shopping than I anticipated. We tired of the throng of tourists, then metroed over to l'Hotel de Ville, broke for a coffee and pear clafoutis, visited Notre Dame and took a tour of St. Michel's schwarma- and crepe-filled streets.

After a quick refresh back at the hotel, we went to a nearby brasserie for assorted cheeses (and amazingly crusty French bread), some strawberry-mint martinis and steak frites. It was a really lovely and typically French meal, complete with overwhelming clouds of smoke from every other table at the restaurant.

Then, we took the metro over to Trocadero for the best view of the Eiffel Tower in the whole city. We enjoyed the monument at night and stayed for the 10pm light show razzle-dazzle before heading out to le marais for les bars.

Since it's been 10 years since I properly went out in Paris, I had no idea where the hot spots were (especially on a Wednesday night). We hit two bars that were duds, then ended up at a Latin night that The Old Man suggested we visit. It was apparently where everyone in the city had gone to. Packed, hopping and fun, this bar featured some sort of drag queen and Latin men showering for everyone's pleasure. It also played videos from 1999 - one that included a friend of mine from my days living in Washington DC!

I met a bunch of people in the fashion industry who are here for some sort of textile fair. And when I explain that I, too, am in the industry, it seems to fall on deaf ears because no one's heard of my company. No matter, maybe I'll still try to write off this trip as business-like!

Before returning to the hotel, Puppy and I stopped into a Quick (France's answer to McDonalds) and ate some pretty disgusting fast food. Some sort of cheesy balls, some chicken tenders and an ice cream/cocoa krispie concoction.

But we're back at the hotel now, getting all rested up for our next day in Paris - tomorrow we hope to tackle a bit of the Louvre!

Movie note: Letters to Juliet

THREE STARS

This movie is one cliche after another, but somehow I ended up liking it by the end. Probably because the old lady was a good actress.

Deutschland dinner

For our last supper in Berlin, Puppy and I wanted a more traditional German meal. So, tonight we met up with Frannie and her husband in the cute neighborhood of Prenzlauer Berg and went to an Alsace-type restaurant.

We started out with a pre-dinner glass of gewurztraminer and I had a creamy pumpkin soup before digging into the piece de resistance ... a baeckeoffe! I had no idea what to expect, except that the menu promised a stew with a bread layer. And lord knows I can't turn down a good carb!

Out came a beautiful blue terrine with a ring of pretzel-type bread baked around the seal. Inside was a flavorful stew with meat, potatoes and carrots that was very tasty such an interesting dish. I was totes pleased with my selection.

Frannie and I polished off our meals with apple strudel, while Puppy had a post-dinner amaretto and Frannie's husband had a creme brulee.

It was a great way to cap off our mini-tour of Berlin even if we haven't had a bratwurst yet. There's always breakfast!

Sweatin' to the oldies

And now for a brief word about our accommodations in Berlin. Puppy and I are staying at a recently opened, "hetero-friendly" hotel in the Schoeneberg neighborhood. It's actually a nice place for the money we paid and we have a perfectly comfortable room, even if it is a bit small.

It has cheeky doorknob signs that range from the typical "Please make up my room" to the more unconventional "Please disturb" and it invites guests to have "memorable encounters" in the public areas.

After our segway tour today, while we warmed up, I decided to visit one of the public areas - the spa/fitness center on the top floor. The workout equipment took up approximately 20% of the available floor space and the rest was dedicated to lounge chairs, showers, a hot tub, sauna and steam room.

When I arrived, the elliptical machine was already taken and I couldn't figure out the stationary bicycle so I hopped onto the treadmill. Meanwhile, a bunch of older, naked men lounged on the chairs, enjoyed the hot tub bubbles or took showers, while enjoying the views of the city.

It was kind of weird, considering it's a shared area where women are also allowed, but I figured it was part of the liberal German attitude toward sex and sexuality. Eavesdropping, however, it became quite clear that many of the men in the area were not German. In fact, on Sunday night Puppy and I wanted to visit the hot tub, but it was occupied by an older, Brooklyn-type Jew (with a swimsuit on) who informed us that it was lukewarm.

Needless to say, my workout wasn't fantastic and I hurried it up so I could get out of there as soon as possible.

Segway sightseeing

Our original plan to visit Berlin was to do a segway tour of the city on Sunday, orient ourselves and return to those sights of which we wanted to see more. It would have been an excellenet plan, too, because Sunday was the day we had beautiful sunny weather, unlike today which has been the coldest, rainiest day since arriving.

Sadly, all the tours were booked on Sunday and yesterday promised to be the worst day weather-wise, so we reserved our spots on the segway tour for this morning. We arrived at Alexanderplatz this morning well in advance of the appointed time, treated ourselves to a Starbucks, then headed over to the office and met up with our tour. Our guide was a very energetic young man from Belgium and there were two other couples: an older one from England and another one of Hispanic heritage from Washington, DC.

We spent several minutes trying out the two-wheeled transporters, which was kind of intimidating and a bit more difficult than I imagined. The segway accelerates based upon how you distribute your weight, so leaning forward or backward can suddenly send your vehicle darting along. After sort of getting the hang of it, we were off!

We first stopped at the fountain in Alexanderplatz, where the British woman promptly fell off her vehicle, landing very gracefully on her back. I thought maybe that was a portent of things to come, but it was the only accident of the day. We buzzed along the Berlin streets, visiting Museum Island, several squares that had importance either due to Nazi activity or Cold War-era tensions, then quickly found ourselves at a cafe, in order to escape the freezing cold outside.

After warming our near-frozen digits, we took the obligatory photo at Checkpoint Charlie, saw a stretch of the Berlin Wall, zoomed along to Potsdamer Platz, visited Hitler's last-stand bunker, headed to the Brandenberg Gate, enjoyed a view of the Reichstag and dove into dangerous traffic. I had a near-miss with a bus that refused to yield the bus/bike lane to us, but fortunately had my wits about me and stayed to the side as it passed.

We viewed the TV Tower, then returned to the office, turned in our plastic ponchos and headed home. It was a fly-by view of the city, and I would highly recommend the activity on a warmer day. At the end of our tour, we all seemed pretty adept at navigating our segways, but we didn't really get a chance to take in any of the sights. And since we depart tomorrow, it means we have many reasons to return to Berlin!

Sprockets

For those of us whose teenage years spanned the 1990s, Mike Myers means not only Austin Powers, but also a host of other characters like WayneCampbell, Linda Richman, Simon, and ... Dieter, the all black-wearing German dance party host whose absurd, minimalist dance show, "Sprockets," informed many of my impressions about what Berlin would be like. Until last night, the stereotype didn't really hold true, but Frannie organized an outing to the Kreuzberg neighborhood to witness a dance performance by Berlin choreographer Sasha Waltz.

Puppy and I arrived about 30 minutes early, so we walked around the gritty, industrial neighborhood. Loud techno music greeted us as we alighted from the S-bahn, so we walked toward the thumping beats and pseudo-Middle Eastern harmonies. We came upon a line of Berlin youth, all sporting extreme fashions like a stuffed animal hung from a bicycle chain around the neck, a metallic silver pom pom hot-glued to a shoulder, turquoise sparkle paint applied around one eye and a whole lot of black.

They were all waiting to get into some sort of outdoor rave where a DJ of some sort was driving these kids into a dance-trance frenzy. We couldn't see into the party, but from the kids' appearances, it was nowhere a sensible thirty-something like myself would be welcome or comfortable.

We met up with Frannie at the venue, some sort of converted building that fused the old and the new, and we were ushered into the dance performance area. And this dance performance was nothing short of what one would expect from a German avant-garde choreographer. The piece, called something that roughly traslated into "two country" was supposed to represent German reunification (or something). Over the course of 75 minutes, we witnessed:

* Two intertwined speedo-clad men who were torn asunder by a third man wearing a suit
* Three ladies wearing red velvet dresses stomping their feet and laughing like cackling hyenas
* A man who struggled with the dilapidated walls of a ramshackle lemonade stand
* A woman in something approximating a wedding dress flying through the air and standing on the other dancers
* A man in a tutu with an accordian strapped to his back
* A man who sang in falsetto (a castrato?)
* A segment during which coveralled men painted part of the set blue
* The tutu-man pouring water all over the set with a large, metal watering can
* A whackjob Asian lady who clutched a vinyl record while exclaiming, "Hello! I like it so much!" over and over again

Somehow, these pieces were supposed to represent something significant. For me, it brought on some confusion and amusement, but I didn't quite understand what it all meant.

Still, I appreciated the chance to witness German "dance" in all its glory, but more than that, I was pleased to witness a true German ovation - one where the audience seemed to clap forever, with multiple curtain calls. We clapped for approximately 10 minutes once the show ended. I can only imagine how long the audience would clap for something really spectacular!

Kaffee and kuchen

Yesterday, Frannie described a German tradition in which Puppy and I readily indulged this afternoon. Instead of English tea, the Germans apparently take a mid-afternoon break for some coffee and cake!

On our way to the biergarten yesterday, we noticed many groups of people sitting around and enjoying their coffee and cake time, so Puppy and I did the same today after a vigorous round of shopping.

I chose a lovely mango cake to accompany my capuccino and Puppy had a Bailey's tart to go with his Irish coffee. I'm already thinking about what type of cake I should get tomorrow.

A meal at the mensa

For our German lunch today, we visited Frannie's husband, who is an academic-type, at his workplace cafeteria. The cafeteria is located on the 20th floor of a building, making it one of the tallest structures in the entire city.

It's sort of a rainy day, so it was that much more difficult trying to navigate the small area with a baby and a wet stroller. But we managed to secure a table and weighed our options of either a steak with potatoes or a Thai carrot curry. We ordered four steaks.

As expected, the steak was quite tough and difficult to chew, but I found the entire meal to be quite good, considering traditional cafeteria food. The view was absolutly spectacular, and could have been improved upon only had the weather cooperated. We couldn't even properly view the TV Tower!

Import tax

After sleeping way in this morning, Puppy and I visited the big, iconic Berlin department store, the Ka De We. It was a nice, shiny store with many of the same things one would find in a Bloomingdales back home. On the top floor, however, was a heavenly upscale "food court" that featured several nice mustards, smoked fishes and beautiful-looking salads.

It also had many products from around the world, including Campbell's Soup and Kellogg's cereal. We picked up a box of Pop Tarts that cost approximately nine euros!

Puppy was especially intrigued by a display of Big Red soda, something I'd never seen. Apparently, it's a Texas specialty and probably cost a fortune in the German market.

Berlin biergarten

I'm reporting from a free internet kiosk in a seedy Berlin leather bar where a few of the key placements are different enough to cause me typo problemos. It's day 1 of the Panda!!!!/Puppy Euro Vacaz Spectacular and I am so tired.

We arrived in Berlin after flying all night long at 8:30am. Let me tell you that Berlin on a Sunday morning is a prettz sleepz place. Our hotel room wasn´t readz for us to check in, so we decided to go for a little walky even though we both were tired, sweaty and kinda cranky.

From our hotel in Schöeneberg, we walked along the Tiergarten and ended up in the Sony Center in Potsdamer Platz. We stumbled upon some remnants of the Berlin Wall, took some obligatory photos and got ourselves to the nearest Starbucks before heading back to the hotel for a much-needed nap.

Once rested, Frannie met us and took us past the zoo and we ended up at a verz cute little biergarten. We tried the local Berliner Weiße, beer that's mixed with either a green or red concoction that makes it sticky-sweet. It was so nice to catch up with Frannie and to think through our remaining time in the city.

Puppy and I rested up again, then went in search for dinner. Strangely enough, we landed at a Mexican restaurant near our hotel because we were two of the only people in the whole city who were ready to eat dinner at 7pm. Most places were still closed and we were surrounded by geezers for the early bird special. Clearly, it wasn't authentic Mexican dining, but it was still quite good.

After dinner, we walked over to find some local gay bars and ended up at one tiny one that smelled like poop and where the bartender smoked while pouring drinks. We tried a local `Buffalo grass wodka´ and headed to another bar, which was much more happening. Bar two had furry walls and a nice laid-back vibe.

Heading back to the hotel, Puppy insisted we stop at one last bar, which brought us to the leather bar showing dirty movies. I was kicked off the internet machine because a local prostitute needed to show his big fat trick for the night his prostitution-whore website. It was like a menu of all sorts of young men. I think they were reviewing his rates.

Urlaub time

This week has felt like the longest short week ever! Since I was out of the office during the first part of the week and since I'm out of the office for basically the next four weeks, I had to cram a lot of work into the time I actually was in the office, resulting in some pretty late nights and a harried work schedule.

But in a few short hours, Puppy and I are leaving for Berlin! I'm excited to see Fran and clan, then we continue our Euro adventures in Paris, where we're going to crash Charlotte York's honeymoon!

I totally need this break, but it wasn't a very good sign when my boss said, "You're bringing your laptop and BlackBerry with you, right?" Helas...

A sort of homecoming

I spent yesterday in Washington DC, meeting with government-type and NGO-type folks and generally letting people know what I think about their work. It was a fun day of work!

My hotel was near Dupont Circle, so the evening before, I took the opportunity to walk around my old 'hood. I walked by some restaurants I enjoyed, a few bars at which I spent too many fuzzy nights and my first solo condo.

I felt much more nostalgic than I expected and the streets had an energy that Boston simply lacks. People were out on patios eating and drinking, others were walking along the streets and there was a general buzz in the air. It sort of made me miss my youth.

Doing time in Times Square

Thanks to a later-than-planned departure and a flight into an airport farther away from Manhattan than desired, Dickinator and I scrapped our dinner plans last night. We're just getting too old to stay out so late on a school night!

So, after checking into my hotel, I wandered around Times Square, found myself an obnoxiously touristy restaurant and ordered too many dishes for one person to eat (although I did manage to eat everything).

Times Square is so weird to me. I used to work for a company whose New York offices were in Chelsea, so whenever I traveled there for work, I'd be in an interesting part of town, with good restaurants, things to do and people I knew. My current company has offices just north of Times Square so we're always housed around the corner. In tourist land.

What is the deal with Times Square? Why do people go there? There's nothing authentic or interesting about it. Maybe some Broadway shows, but it is completely devoid of any character that would otherwise compel a sane person to visit New York.

I sat at my table and simply stared at the thousands of people, strolling along the sidewalk, marveling at the flashing lights and stopping to take photos. And it saddened me that this was how I was spending my limited time in the city.

Unnecessary upgrade

When I arrived at the airport yesterday afternoon, I learned that my flight to New York was canceled. Instead of waiting three hours for the next flight to Laguardia (Thanks, holiday weekend, for reducing the number of shuttle flights), I opted to fly into JFK 30 minutes after my originally scheduled flight.

As a bonus, I got upgraded to first class, which made me kind of excited, even if it was for such a short flight. And today, when I left New York for Washington, DC, I was upgraded again to first class!

So, I appreciate the extra room and all, but you don't really get much more for first class on such a short flight. In addition to a tiny bottle of water, we were offered a small bag of Sun Chips or a banana. I guess I could/should have ordered a cocktail.

Movie note: Hellboy

TWO STARS

This movie was very pretty, but pretty boring.

Laborious day

Most Americans are enjoying today as summer's last hurrah with cook-outs, drinking too much and probably some Ke$ha tunes. I, on the other hand, have been on the computer, doing work since 7:30 this morning.

Some of it is due to following up on a pretty crazy few days at week and the remainder is due to this afternoon's departure to New York for a meeting first-thing tomorrow morning.

So, it hasn't been the "day off" that most people get today, but at least Puppy made burgers on Saturday night when Jimmy Jam and SexMex visited for dinner.

Movie note: Death at a Funeral

TWO STARS

SO much worse than the original British version from only a few years earlier.

Baker man

The other day, I impulse-bought an expensive green apple kitchenaid mixer on gilt. I don't truly know if it was a good deal or not, but I do know I'll be making a good deal more cakes and cookies! It has begun with a "mississippi mud cake," currently cooling off on the counter.

And that concludes today's workout

Oh dear, it happened again. And this time to my favorite Adidas workout shorts!

Lift tap lift tap lift tap

Ugh. I was that guy at the gym today. The guy who constantly checks his BlackBerry between sets. Usually, I leave all phone-type devices in my locker, but work was craziness today. And on the last summer hours day, of all days!

So, I lifted and tapped responses, checked for updates, lifted more, tapped more responses and finally got to some resolution. Hopefully, this won't be a trend.

Celeb sighting: Back to the Future Part III

Oh yeah, also spotted at last night at Ted Danson's table was his wife, Mary Steenburgen. Despite everything she's appeared in, I could only think of her role in Back to the Future Part III.

Celeb sighting: Cheers

Cousin Lotus is in town, so she, Puppy and I checked out a new, overpriced restaurant in The Hub. We were merrily eating and catching up when the waitress leaned down to Cousin Lotus and whispered that Ted Danson was seated one table away from us.

The be-spectacled man with a shock of white hair looks nothing like his Sam Malone alter-ego, which will always be my Ted Danson reference point, even though I understand he's doing some outstanding work on another television series that I don't watch.