Movie note: Big Eden

TWO STARS

I thought it was pretty boring and I certainly didn't believe the "love" story.

Backyard baby barbeque

At six o'clock yesterday evening, I arrived at Flabs's house, bearing two pies - my contribution to a backyard barbeque in honor of Shotgun's visit to Boston. Shotgun and her family have been driving around the East Coast, so Jillian and I jumped at the chance to have dinner with some old friends.

Everyone started to eat just as I arrived - the chicken had been grilled, the corn cooked and the pasta salad dished out. Why, one might wonder, were we beginning our meal at such an early hour? Well, because there were five children there, the oldest of whom was four years old!

It was pretty chaotic, trying to watch all the kids, encourage them to eat and prevent them from playing with the gas grill. They screamed for more corn and chicken, ran away from the bees and splashed water all over the place.

I'm still getting used to the idea that all my friends have kids and realizing you simply cannot plan for a calm meal when the munchkins are running about. You also cannot plan for clean clothes, as evidenced by Jillian's chalk-covered black dress!

Also, please stop making that horrible gutteral throat-clearing sound every few minutes

Last night, Puppy and i went on a little dinner-date at a neighborhood restaurant that received positive reviews in a recent issue of a national magazine to which I subscribe. We sat at a little booth and ordered from our Italian-type waiter with the salt-and-pepper hair.

Shortly after, a couple sat next to us - an older gentleman of Caucasian persuasion and his slightly younger Asian ladyfriend/wife. The tables were pretty close together, so it was impossible to ignore their conversation, unless you're self-absorbed like I am.

When our waiter arrived to greet the couple, the male half said that our waiter resembled, "What's his name? Uh ... Versace!"

"Oh, Versace," our waiter responded as politely as possible, "that's a new one! I usually get George Michael or..." At this point Puppy was saying that the waiter didn't resemble Versace and I was likely rolling my eyes.

When it came time to order, the couple apparently had a very difficult time figuring out what they wanted, which is fine, but Puppy let me know that they kept changing their orders and insisting that the waiter had heard incorrectly. All I know is that they took a long time during the ordering phase of the evening and they kept pronouncing "gnocchi" like "nokey," which I found incredibly irritating.

It was otherwise a fine meal (save for the part where Puppy threw it all up upon exiting the restaurant), but living in Boston sure has exposed me to a new type of neighbor.

We hardly knew ya

A few years ago, my friends and I met up at a bar before heading over to a boisterous Academy Awards party. It was early afternoon and we were enjoying our first cocktails when a fellow stumbled into the bar and slurred loudly that he needed a drink. Apparently, he'd been kicked out of a nearby restaurant because he had taken all the condiments and started finger-painting on the table.

He was pretty annoying in his advanced inebriation, but he provided us with some entertainment, so we took photos with him and went on our merry way. From time to time, we'd see him out and we would yell his name, but he had no memory of meeting us. It became a running joke to yell his name in a crowded room and watch him whirl around with a confused expression when he didn't see anyone he recognized.

Tragically, Roommate J informed me the other night that he was found dead in his apartment Monday, apparently stabbed to death. The police have pasted flyers with his photo all over San Francisco and are investigating this possible homicide. And even though I didn't know him, it makes me all creeped out to be in such close proximity to a murder.

Original programming

Last night, I watched the season premiere of Dark Blue, a show on TNT that apparently has been around for one season already. I didn't watch it because I was at all interested, but I learned that TurboBoob's husband, Jock-capella, would be on the show, portraying some sort of Serbian gangster.

It was fun watching Jock-capella acting like a badass on the show, but I really didn't understand what was happening or why the show was interesting to people. I also saw a bunch of commercials for other TNT shows that all essentially have the same premise: Some sort of damaged detective is working hard to make the world a better place while dealing with inner demons and co-workers who don't appreciate his/her quirkiness.

Seriously, it was like every single show advertised was for the same thing. And each show seemed to feature a marquis name supported by a bunch of other actors. Trade Kyra Sedgwick for Jason Lee for Dylan McDermott - and you basically get the same show, over and over again.

Maine attraction

After we left Reebs's house on Sunday, we headed South into the little town of Freeport, known for its abundance of upscale outlet stores. For such a small town, there's a lot of good shopping! And instead of the large outlet malls I'm used to, Freeport boasted a cute downtown area with clapboard homes that housed outlets for Banana Republic, J. Crew, North Face, Coach and many other brands.

Fortunately, we arrived early enough in the day to beat the Sunday crowds, which were starting to swarm the parking lot as we readied to leave. We only hit a few stores, dropped a bit of cash, then headed down to Portland for lunch.

Portland, apparently the largest city in Maine, seemed pretty touristy and built around the waterfront area. We had lunch in a pub and walked along the main street, picking up candies and toys for our animals as we moseyed back to the car. I'm sure the lighthouse tour is pretty, but I doubt I need to spend much more time there.

Movie note: Serial Mom

FOUR STARS

Kathleen Turner is a wonder. I kept thinking that the word "Daybreak" in the song she kept listening to was "date rape."