"We're sure she's going to grow up to be a mega superstar!"

Last night, I caught the premiere of a new series on TLC called Toddlers & Tiaras, which purports to go behind the scenes of child beauty pageants. We got to follow three mother/daughter pairs as they prepared for and competed in the Miss Universal Royalty beauty pageant in Austin, TX.

Not only was this an alarming display of stage-mommery and over sexualizing little girls, it was fascinating because of the two-year-old contestant's father, David Perez of Santa Rosa, TX.

When David first appeared on screen, I was certain he was Ava's gay pageant coach since he became so animated when he talked about his skill in sewing beads and sequins onto gowns. He was so excited about the pageant, outfitting his little girl and helping her with her talent, that it soon became clear that he was living vicariously through his daughter and probably regretted never having competed in a pageant himself.

Sadly, when Ava didn't win the pageant (but was awarded with a trophy bigger than her), David was devastated. He wasn't looking forward to telling his daughter (who was psyched about the trophy but oblivious to everything else) that she was a big, fat loser and that they'd have to spend much, much more time sewing and beading and twirling together in preparation for the next pageant.