Thanks, I'll take the train

We're having a bicycle commuter event in our building lobby this afternoon. There are several organizations here, espousing the joys of biking to work, sharing tips on safety and directing clueless employees to the wealth of resources available to bike commuters.

I'm indirectly "sponsoring" this event because it promotes an earth-friendlier way to commute, but I'm not one of the employees they'll be converting to bike commuter.

As I walked by the displays, an eager volunteer started showing me all the great stuff they have, but I explained that I don't bike, nor do I own a bike. His response? "There are many places in San Francisco where you can buy a bike!" Sure, I know that. But I don't really want a bike.

No one in my office needs me arriving to work as a puddle of sweat. Nor do I wish to be smashed to smithereens by idiot San Francisco car commuters who drive while e-mailing on their blackberrys. And most of all, where would I even store a bike? On my kitchen counter?