Interior monologue

A few comments that ran through my brain today while at the office, that I had the good sense to keep to myself:

"You aren't really that smart, are you?"

"That is a seriously long pee."

"Wow, your boobs are much bigger than I thought."

"Who is responsible for that smell?"

"That new hair color is horrible."

"What makes you think you're allowed to speak to me?"

When I get older, and the filter fails, there's no way I'll be employed.