Grillin'

Roommates A&J and Puppy came over last night to help me break in my new grill pan with a panini party! Sadly for Roommate A, his was the first panini to be made, so it was a bit on the charred side.

It was a fun evening, which included six bottles of wine, a wonderful poached pear salad courtesy of Roommate A&J and a drunken viewing of the movie Rent!

Sleep deprived

Stefano DiMera has spent the past few days getting used to his surroundings, which seems mostly to include sleeping under the bed and climbing up on the kitchen counter. Since I'm not home during the day, I assume there's a lot of scratching at closed doors and walls (and very little scratching of the scratching post) since I usually yell at him when I catch him.

When I come home from work in the evening, Stefano is a ball of energy and I have to play with him to tire him out, because he is quite the active kitty at night. Each night seems to get better and he's starting to sleep more and more at night, but he still insists on purring by my head and stepping on my face.

He thinks my hands are toys because he really pays attention to them and tries to get my fingers to respond, mostly by pawing at them or nibbling them. Usually, my hands respond by moving him to the foot of my bed.

And I know he doesn't mean it, but its become somewhat painful to have him knead at my head, arms and chest when he's getting comfortable. His little claws tend to stick in my skin and I don't think he understands why I turn away when he's just trying to e affectionate.

Meanwhile, I have been a zombie at work, thanks to several nights of very poor sleep.

'Cause tonight is the night

I'm not sure why, but this song has been in my head for approximately 24 hours now. How lucky am I?

"We're sure she's going to grow up to be a mega superstar!"

Last night, I caught the premiere of a new series on TLC called Toddlers & Tiaras, which purports to go behind the scenes of child beauty pageants. We got to follow three mother/daughter pairs as they prepared for and competed in the Miss Universal Royalty beauty pageant in Austin, TX.

Not only was this an alarming display of stage-mommery and over sexualizing little girls, it was fascinating because of the two-year-old contestant's father, David Perez of Santa Rosa, TX.

When David first appeared on screen, I was certain he was Ava's gay pageant coach since he became so animated when he talked about his skill in sewing beads and sequins onto gowns. He was so excited about the pageant, outfitting his little girl and helping her with her talent, that it soon became clear that he was living vicariously through his daughter and probably regretted never having competed in a pageant himself.

Sadly, when Ava didn't win the pageant (but was awarded with a trophy bigger than her), David was devastated. He wasn't looking forward to telling his daughter (who was psyched about the trophy but oblivious to everything else) that she was a big, fat loser and that they'd have to spend much, much more time sewing and beading and twirling together in preparation for the next pageant.

I'm not your sidekick

I haven't finished watching last night's episode of The City, but there was a gem of a moment that made me laugh out loud. So far, this show is about as interesting as season one of The Hills (aka, not very). Whitney, a secondary character in The Hills, has surrounded herself with a posse of her own secondary characters.

One of them, however, seems determined to break free from supporting role and refused to play her part, totally confusing poor Whitney. When Whitney wanted to dish on the drama of her boyfriend's roommate's did-he-or-didn't-he-hook-up-with-skanky-girl-while-his-model-girlfriend-was-out-of-town behavior, Olivia put a stop to it.

Instead of indulging Whitney, Olivia said that they're all adults, that she should basically stay out of it and that she didn't want to discuss other people's business. Olivia obviously has no idea that, without the leading questions and the long, silent stares, there would be no show! But I enjoyed the wrench she threw into the conversation and seeing Whitney whimper, "Oh, I just wanted to talk to someone about it."

Predictive text

Technology is so smart! When I tried to text "mid-conversation" to Shotgun just now, my phone suggested "mid-booterratimo" instead.

Burn Book entry

Recently, Roommate J "befriended" someone on Facebook - someone whom none of us knows, yet has nearly 5,000 "friends." But through Roommate J's "friendship," we've turned this fellow into quite the topic of conversation.

Through his Facebook status updates, his Twitter postings, his Flikr stream and his several blog postings, we know far too much about his life. And when we see him out at bars, we may even yell his name out, to see him look around quizzically before returning to whatever he was doing.

And before you chastize me for being a Mean Girl panda, I'm listing a few of his postings, so the Internets can understand why we marvel at this guy's overshares. It's truly a trainwreck; take special note at the time stamps:

Finally out of bed (not my own) and heading home to charge my iPhones. (11:17am, yesterday)

Trying to help a friend who woke up in a strange house somewhere in The Castro find their way home...I'm an expert at this sort to situation (8:56am, January 24)

Well I witnessed fisting today for the first time, and experienced DP...two firsts in the past 24 hours. Time to get some sleep. G'nite (5:56am, January 23)

Alright we are watching porn on the huge projection screen. Cya all afterwards ;-) (4:54am, January 23)

4 am booty call... Where's my good lube? (3:56am, January 23)

Time for the most depressing time of the day...logging into Chemistry.com...yep no new matches...yet again. (12:56pm, January 22)

Geez....$76 in overdraft fees. Isn't it enough that my account was negative, now once I deposit money they make it negative again with fees? (1:34pm, January 21)

As I am remembering bits of last night...and looking through my text message log...apparently I made out with a few different guys at BOC (9:40am, January 21)

Note to self: "Self, just because there is an open bar, don't drink so much that you can't even make it to the bathroom to puke. kthxbai" (8:12am, January 21)

no i hate myself and wish almost daily that i never was born. (8:41pm, January 18)

it is the truth...NO ONE HAS EVER REALLY LOVED ME..how am i supposed to believe it is true, if 28 years of experience says it isn't (8:33pm, January 18)

Honestly....do you know a SINGLE person who has no spendable dollars (including credit) at all? I literally have negative money. (8:05pm, January 18)

This hottie who I've been talking to for a few weeks asked me meet him for dinner, but my bank acct is negative :-( (5:47pm, January 18)

So drunk...and it isn't even 4pm....Going onlne to "order in a trick" as a friend once put it (3:59pm, January 18)

Being here in only a towel is STRONG motivation to A) work out more and B) Save up ~$10k for a body lift, or at least a tummy tuck (9:19pm, January 17)

I think I feel sad for him, but I also believe this should serve as a cautionary tale to anyone who wishes to post every detail of his or her life online.

Birthday tapas

It's Roommate A's birthday so approximately 18 of us squished into a table built for 12 to celebrate! We had food, drinks, drinks and more drinks and Puppy and I made an announcement about our new Stefano DiMera.

Interestingly, Stefano's pound kitty name was the same name as Roommate A, and more interestingly, he looked like Roommate A in the pound photo! I think it's because his eyes are half-closed and he looks like he's been overserved.

Parenthood

Puppy and I made an impromptu visit to the SF Animal Control Center and immediately fell in love with an orange and white longhaired kitty. Fearful that someone else would claim him, Puppy freed him from captivity and purchased him for my upcoming birthday. After I filled out the requisite adoption papers, I became a parent. And we named him Stefano DiMera!

Because you left

Boy was I mesmerized last night, while catching up on the season premiere of Lost! I'm so glad the show's back on, but maybe more confused than ever. I have so many questions and totally psyched to allow myself to ride this time-traveling, physics-defying, noggin-scratching roller coaster for the next two seasons!

Reunion

Since Gerbil moved back to San Francisco, we resumed our monthly dinner with Dyson and GarGar last night at Garcon. It was great to have our little quartet back together, and we picked up just where things had left off - eating too much, drinking more than we planned, talking about work, boys and television and enjoying a brief nightcap afterward.

Somehow, despite the Dine About Town deal, we still managed to ring up a sizeable bill. Some things never change.

Am I naked? Because in my nightmares I'm usually naked.

My heart skipped a little beat when I read this. It cannot come soon enough!

Change of address

Dyson, who lives on Bush Street, reported that street signs have been changed from "BUSH" to "OBAMA" today. Oh how I love San Francisco...

"This is America happening"

Internets, we have a new President of the United States of America! Watching coverage of the inauguration this morning, it was impossible for me to avoid comparing today's event to the inauguration I witnessed in person eight years ago.

Millions of Americans flocked to DC to be a part of this event - one that was hopeful, optimistic, gleeful and filled with promise. Eight years ago, however, the mood was definitely more sour.

This country ushered in George W. Bush as its President on the heels of a stolen election, on a miserable, gray day with freezing rain and angry protests. The tension, the hatred and the sadness were all palpable that day and W. was the first President who was unable to walk to the Capitol, out of concern for his safety.

And while that day was so sad and deflating, the images of today's inauguration, full of celebration and under clear, sunny skies, have me hopeful that the greatness of this country can be restored.

The list

One night this weekend, I accompanied Puppy to a housewarming party for one of his co-workers. When I learned that the hosts had hired someone to work as security and that party-goers would be admitted only if their names appeared on the list, I figured it would be a classy-type affair in a beautiful home.

Sadly, this was not true. It was a typical house party with a keg, bagel bites, and a very interesting-looking dish that resembled a cherry jello mold with hot dogs in it. Moreover, the guests were boring and the music was lackluster, so we quickly moved on with our night.

I guess in this case, security didn't signal sophisticated. It simply meant pretentious.

Photo bomb brunch

Blanca organized a little brunch so that Puppy and I could spend some sober time with him and his boyfriend this morning, which was fun, save for a wicked hangover from last night's festivities.

As we neared the end of our meal, the two ladies at the table next to us asked a waiter to take their photo. And once he got hold of their little red camera, he snapped away with abandon! Even before one of the ladies could sit in the seat next to her friend, the waiter began to take photos. He kept moving around, capturing them from every angle, catching them before they were ready.

So, of course we found this to be highly amusing and since I was closest to them, I jumped in the background of as many photos as I could, smiling crazily at the camera.

Unhandy man

A few weeks ago, in anticipation of all the work that goes along with moving into a new place, I purchased a power drill. Well, Internets, I'm totally useless when it comes to home improvements.

To date, I've succeeded in drilling several holes in a wall, stripping a few screws, breaking a screw off in a wall and drilling more screws in a window frame. Were it not for my kind neighbor who insisted on helping me mount my wine racks, I would have nothing to show for my earnest attempts.

Sadly, however, I've still been unable to get my shades up, rendering sleeping in pretty much impossible.

Is Zululand like Disneyland?

Continuing down the path of "the blind leading the blind," Charlotte York and I met last night to work on our African adventure plans.

We made a bit of progress, deciding that there are three, maybe four, places we'd like to include in our two-week trip: Cape Town, Krueger National Park, Lesotho and Durban/Zululand. Unfortunately, we don't know if there's anything interesting in Durban, except for a former co-worker, and we're not sure if Zululand is truly rich in culture or fakey exploitation, Disney-style.

Furthermore, we're not sure how to get from one place to another or which order makes the most sense. So, we've again sent messages to our friends for additional information, but I think we're nearing a plan!

After approximately 10 minutes of planning, we spent another three hours gossiping. Truly, a productive night.

Shop talk

Dickinator and her boyfriend are in town for the annual JP Morgan Healthcare Conference this week, and she was able to sneak out to meet me for a little dinner catch up.

It was so great seeing her, but kind of funny to be discussing work, trade publications, pharmaceutical R&D and other industry topics since I've now moved into the healthcare sector. Of all my friends, she's possibly the only one who would have inadvertently come across a recent Panda!!!!-featuring article in PharmaVOICE magazine.

As always, it was great to see Dickinator and we spent the evening catching up, laughing and splitting a bottle of wine. In college, we used to spend so much time together that people thought we were dating (And once, a flower shop thought we were ordering centerpieces for our wedding.), but now we only see each other two to three times each year, if we're lucky.

Fortunately for me, she makes an annual trip to San Francisco for this conference and I get to steal her away for one night while she's in town.

Isn't it bromantic?

I admit that I tuned into the beginning of last night's episode of Bromance because Lauren Conrad from The Hills was on. Besides its tenuous connection to one of my favorite guilty pleasures, this show holds zero interest for me.

LC disappointed, but what surprised me more was that none of the contestants recognized the "I'm-sort-of-hungover-and-perpetually-tired-from-too-many-late-nights-out-and-vapid-conversations" rasp in her voice.

Anyhoo, after LC left, the episode showed Brody in his shower, lathering up and scrubbing down, when two of his best friends suddenly walked in to have a discussion about an upcoming cook out. Bromance is all about straight-guy friendship and one of the gay contestants seemed put off by the fact that all they do is talk about having sex with girls. But do straight guys really nonchalantly interrupt their friends while they shower? Is it normal for a man to hold a conversation about burgers and grills whilst completely in the nude?

Obviously, these scenes are staged and scripted, but who thought that this would depict a normal occurrence in Brody's - let alone anyone's - life?

Word cloud

I just made a "word cloud" using wordle, a site I learned about just today.

Internets, I have no idea why I'm wasting so much time when I have a ton of work to do!

Call the police

Internets, an open question: How the heck does Nole Marin continue to find work on reality television shows?

When he was a judge on America's Next Top Model, he wasn't feisty or crazy enough to hang with Tyra and her insanitorium gang. I'm sure he's accomplished a lot in the world of fashion and styling, but he never really had anything important to contribute, save for the time that Rebecca fainted during panel and Nole thought the appropriate response would be to "call the police!" As if fainting were a crime and the police would have to take her into custody.

And now he's on the show True Beauty, which purports to be a social experiment, pitting a house filled with self-absorbed, genetically-gifted airheads against each other in a competition to find out who "the most beautiful person in America" is - both inside and out.

Nole is pretty much the same, silent, dull judge as before. He nods in agreement with the other judges, utters a line or two, but ultimately looks like a little gay mouse who's about to pass gas. I mean, if you're going to be the gay voice on a panel of judges - about fashion - please have the decency to camp it up a bit and be interesting!

You're never fully dressed without a smile

Walking home from the bar last night, Puppy and I noticed three men a few paces ahead and on the other side of the street. The men weren't particularly interesting, save for the fact that two of them were completely naked! Naturally, we wondered about the relationship between these three fellows, and all the scenarios we came up with were fairly unsavory and totes gay.

But they were pretty nonchalant about their nakedness and simply got into their car and drove away. Only in San Francisco...

In my pants

On the way to the gym this morning, I shared an elevator ride with a fellow whose iPod volume was likely above the volume recommended by the Surgeon General. I deduced this because I could hear very clearly the song he was listening to and I wasn't sharing headphones with him.

To my surprise, I realized the song he was listening to was from a Saturday Night Live skit! I guess he really, really liked the song and decided that he needed to add it to his workout mix.

No more landlord

This morning I turned in the keys to my old apartment, after quickly walking through and conducting a final mail check (Sadly, the US Postal Service doesn't seem capable of forwarding all my mail, just selected pieces.). After nearly six years, it's strange not to be connected to my old apartment building and I'll certainly miss some things:

* The convenience! In my mind, it is located in the most convenient spot in the entire city.

Okay, maybe I'll miss just one thing. There are a few neighbors I liked, but since I haven't moved too far, I'll probably run into them from time to time.

Today's special

For lunch today, I went to my neighborhood sandwichery and noticed that it was promoting a special sandwich: "Club Sandwich with Bacon!" To me, anything with bacon is, indeed, special so I ordered it promptly.

But I realized that there was nothing "special" about the sandwich. It cost the same price as a club sandwich and an additional topping of bacon. There was no promotion here, just the eatery's normal item, written on a chalk board.

So, I asked the cashier what made the sandwich special when there was no reduction in price. She shrugged her shoulder and said she didn't know.

Nonetheless, the bacon was tres delish.

You have lost ... one million pounds!

Last night, Puppy forced me to watch The Biggest Loser with him, in an effort to motivate us to lose our holiday pounds. Internets, this show is a disaster!

First of all, it features Sami Brady from Days of Our Lives, yelling and screaming and acting all know-it-all and in charge.

Second, it makes the contestants do things like race across a bridge and climb over a mound of dirt. And when you're 400 lbs., getting over a mound of dirt ain't pretty.

Third, it features anorexic trainers who watch the weigh-in sessions with contempt. They pretend like they're cheering on the contestants, but you can tell that they're all, "Fatty fatty boom-blattyies! All of them ... disgusting!" on the inside.

Finally, the producers concoct a ridiculous contrivance whereby most of the team members must separate from each other, causing lots of tears and panic.

I shall probably watch again.

A session on my couch

Today I found myself in the odd position of comforting a co-worker who was basically told she needed to shape up or ship out. Our boss has put her on a performance improvement plan, and if she doesn't change the trajectory of her performance, she'll be out on the street, looking for work.

It's sad that she's in such a stressful position and I know that she's been working terribly hard to come up to speed. She's only been in the position for five months and our boss can be particularly demanding of her.

But it's strange to me that I've become her confidante in this matter since my boss has also asked me to report any signs of under-performance. I don't want to see my co-worker go since she's one of the few people with a personality in the area where I sit, but I also don't think she and our boss will ever find themselves in a healthy working relationship. I guess all I can do is sit, listen and try to offer some generic Dr. Phil-type advice.

Charm School rumble party

Roommates A&J hosted a lovely little viewing party for the Rock of Love Charm School reunion special last night. And they didn't spare any calories in the delicious spread! While watching the skanky girls tell each other off, Roommates A&J, Kitten, Puppy and I nibbled on tasty cheeses, BBQ meatballs, crostini with sundried tomato jam, some filo-dough bundles of lamb (courtesy of Kitten), cheddar and sour cream ruffles (courtesy of moi), a yummy fruit crumble and plenty of boozes.

We kept an eye out for Beetle, who attended the reunion taping, and were pleased to catch him picking a wedgie and looking shocked! And of course, we had to watch the Megan-Sharon fight a few times.

I sort of love Megan for making the most of her reality show blonde bimbo persona and for being absolutely wasted while at the taping. Hopefully, VH1 will reward her with her own show.

No scrubs

I've spent yesterday and today scrubbing away and cleaning up my old apartment. The property management company gave me a long list of areas that needed to be cleaned before I return the keys, including everything!

But cleaning isn't exactly my forte and I realized that, no matter what I do, there's no way I'll get back the entirety of my deposit, so I've kind of given up. It's as clean as it's going to be and now all I need to do is figure out how to get the busted armoire out of the building.

I blame Ken Paves

While in LA, we witnessed the unfortunate phenomenon that we dubbed LA Hair. Men who had succumbed to this horrible trend were easily identified by their over-processed, over-styled hair. Whether it be white highlights, man bangs or an unsettling perm, LA Hair was an affront to the casual onlooker, but also an occasion to stop, stare and ridicule.

Two * oh * oh * nine

Puppy and I met up with Selives today and had a nice dinner at Ketchup where our waiter was quite on the hot side.

Fortunately, we'd purchased VIP tickets for our celebrations at The Abbey and were able to stay in the un-crowded portion of the bar whilst the plebians begged and pleaded for their alcohol drinkies. But now it's 2009 and Selives is talking to folks on the pull-out couch in our room and Puppy is wearing a robe and making out with a redbull can. Happy New Year!