Saturday, September 29, 2007

Three's company


Last night at the bar we witnessed a true trainwreck. Two hideous men were getting all hot and heavy on a bench - furiously making out, hands all over each other, inside and outside of pants. Everyone was staring because it was far too early to be that drunk. One of the lovebirds was aproximately 200 years old, 4'5" tall, with the face of a rat and somehow physically handicapped. His paramour was probably in his early 20s with a mop of shaggy hair, a strangely large lower lip and a comfortable belly.

The two would be passionately embracing, then suddenly stop and walk away from each other, then they would resume with vigor. At one point, they were leaning against another bar patron, a be-suited man who appeared to be in his thirties. The suit politely tapped the younger man on the shoulder and informed him that they seemed on the brink of having sex against his side. The couple appeared to apologize, straightened up, then went back to their loving.

Suddenly, we noticed that the young half of the couple was passionately making out with the suit! We all screamed and laughed, and watched until the old man returned to re-claim his younger friend. Meanwhile, the suit looked on forlonly.

It truly was a spectacle.

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