Laborious day

Panda!!!! just returned home from a very fun long weekend of camping by the Russian River. Admittedly, Panda!!!! is not such an outdoorsy fella, but this wasn't exactly "roughing it." After getting a late start on Saturday morning, I went up with Mattress, Beetle, ChickenHawk, Blanca, Roommates A&J and Mahogany Sparkle to the quaint town of Guerneville, CA.

We set up our camp at a resort with access to the river, bathrooms and shower facilities, and proceeded to be the camp with the loudest, most boisterous, most fun patrons in the entire resort! There are far too many stories to relate at this moment, but some definite highlights include:

* Roommate J waking up covered in bruises from his battles with Mahogany Sparkle
* Mattress using a pomegranate and two key limes to create a camp mascot whom we named Pom de Replay
* Someone from a neighboring campsite yelling, "Will someone put a dick in her mouth to shut her the fuck up?!" because Mahogany Sparkle was much too loud at a fairly late hour
* Some pretty horrendous karaoke at one of the local watering holes
* Using ChickenHawk's hotel room facilities to shower
* Our buffets of Mexican food
* A nighttime heart to heart to heart to heart, hidden in a corner of one of our tents
* Blanca diving out the tent's doggy door
* Beetle wiping his booger on Blanca
* Mattress and Blanca singing to S Club 7's "I Never Had a Dream Come True" in wigs and heels
* Roommate J hollowing out a cucumber and creating using it as a chalice for vodka, thereby creating the cucumber-tini
* Some touched-in-the-head Vallejo boy asking about Blanca's position preferences in bed
* The Vallejo boy's "associate" asking Mahogany Sparkle and I how many times we laughed in a day because he knows people that don't laugh very much
* Lazing around on an inflatable mattress on the river
* Blanca saying, "But you don't even know what kind of frog it is!" when Beetle and Roommate J expressed concern that a spider might be poisonous
* The hostess of a diner calling Mahogany Sparkle "muscley"
* Mahogany Sparkle diving on Panda!!!! for no reason - with wild craze in his eyes

Internets, it was a truly great weekend and I'm exhausted and sun-kissed and my feet are filthy. I'm not eager to return to reality tomorrow, but I guess I have to earn some cash money to support adventures like these!