The VIP vendor luncheon

For the past two days, I've been treated to very extravagant lunches in Dongguan, China. I guess since I'm a customer coming all the way from around the world, these factories pull out all the stops. It's a little over-the-top, especially since our opulent lunch typically follows a visit to the bare-bones factory canteen, which I can barely stand because of the strong, um, odors.

Both days, our party has been sequestered into a VIP room of a ginormous hotel restaurant. The restaurants are clearly the fanciest, most expensive establishments in the area and it's definitely a special treat for all the staff who come along.

The VIP rooms both had large circular tables, private bathrooms, couches, lounge chairs and flat-screen televisions built into the wall. Apparently, the seat of honor is the one opposite the television and this seat was offered to me both days. Why they turn on the television during lunch is sort of beyond me. I guess it gives us something to talk about.

For example, yesterday the conversation centered around soccer, terrorism and Thailand, thanks to the news program we watched. Today, we discussed Jackie Chan, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the stock market, also influenced by the television.

Upon sitting at the table, servers come around and tuck one corner of a square cloth napkin under your plate and let the rest of it fall on your lap. I thought it was sort of strange, but I just went with it. And I used my napkin throughout lunch yesterday, until I realized that no one else was doing this. I guess the cloth is just a sort of extension of the tablecloth? A decoration for under the charger? Everyone else at the table used little tiny cocktail napkins to wipe their mouths, but the American ruined the mini tablecloth!

It's also at this point during the day when everyone marvels at how much Cantonese I understand. Before lunch, everyone strains to speak English to me and I respond in English, never trying to speak in Chinese. But at lunch, it's pretty apparent that I understand what's going on and where the conversation is going. I insist it's because my Cantonese vocabulary is 98% food words and that we've simply entered my element. A few minutes pass and they realize this is the truth.

Both yesterday and today I've left the lunch banquet super-stuffed and uncomfortable for the remainder of the day. Tomorrow's goal? Skip the breakfast buffet in anticipation of the vendor lunch.