Do you wanna be on top?

Last night we convened for a party in honor of America's Next Top Model. Imagine a houseful of trannylicious gays, copious amounts of alcohol, a runway and photos galore.

Each person was supposed to dress as a standout character from the show, and my initial idea of appearing as Nigel Barker was nixed (apparently, someone else had claimed that title). So instead, I dusted off my SLR camera, loaded it with film (yes, actual 35mm film!) and half-heartedly pretended to be Gilles Bensimon, world reknowned fashion photographer.

As you can imagine, it was a hot mess of heels, wigs and makeup and most people spent the entire day pulling together their outfits. Several were stunning, some were tragic and others were just plain wrong.

Since Panda!!!! had to get an early start today, I claimed designated driver duties, stayed sober throughout the evening and left early. But from a recap conversation with Roommate J, along with my own unimpaired memory, I can relay the following highlights:

* Mattress, dressed as Jade from Cycle 6, sashaying down the runway, flinging a dog about as an accessory and accidentally dropping it on its head
* Mahogany Sparkle, dressed as "executive realness" Tyra, storming out of the party because Selives kept calling her "Sister Patterson" from I Love New York. It's been reported that Mahogany Sparkle was later propositioned at a convenience store, where he clocked his would-be suitor in the face.
* Racially improper outfits courtesy of PorkChop (Miss J), Throbby (Tyra's mom), Mattress and Roommate A (Gina from Cycle 6)
* A crazy maze of lasers! Courtesy of Selives's impression of Benny Ninja
* Beetle sporting some depends as Lisa (Cycle 5)
* Blanca (as Twiggy) turning the ice bucket into his own personal cocktail glass