Please make your deposit in this cup

In order to be employed by my new company, I've had to fill out tons of paperwork and provide proof of my current and past employers. This has not been an easy task. After all, I haven't really kept W-2 forms from 5 or 10 years ago!

Today's pre-employment hoop was the drug test. In my employment packet, I received a form to take with me to a laboratory located in downtown San Francisco. I was instructed to submit a urine sample for testing within 24 hours after I received my forms, so I had to go sometime today.

The laboratory was located in a rather old building and I found myself seated in a squeaky pleather chair in a cramped waiting room. Also waiting for various tests were a large gay couple (Do they need blood tests for gay marriage?), a hefty limping man and a mother with her 1-year-old daughter (Perhaps they were there for a paternity test!).

In any case, it took 40 minutes before it was finally my turn to make my deposit and the lab technician was very clear with his instructions (Sign here, initial here, please verify your birth date, fill the cup above this line but below this line, do not flush the toilet when you are done!).

All in all, it took about five minutes for me to finish the process and when I handed over my little cup to the technician, he held it up and looked at me disapprovingly. "It's very clear," he said, "you may have to come back and submit another sample."

Apparently, it could be too diluted. I guess I hydrate too much!