Fugsip Girl

My work on a project at The Corporation led me to the website where one of my favorite blogs receives its fodder. Since I don't subscribe to its service, it doesn't appear as though I can publish the large version of this photo, but I wanted to pay a little tribute.

It looks as though Chace Crawford is working diligently to shake the preppy, cherubic look of his Gossip Girl character Nate by arriving to red carpet events with unkempt hair, a nine o'clock shadow and comfortable loungewear. We understand that this is an Old Navy event, but when your co-stars show up in besequined gowns and well-coiffed shiny hair, is it really too much to ask you to shave and invest in a comb?

Gotta eat

I'm intrigued by Lupe Fiasco's new album, mostly because one song is apparently written from the perspective of a cheeseburger. I do love his song "Superstar" and I'm tickled by the idea that he'll be touring with Rihanna and Kanye West this summer.

But really, who anthropomorphizes a cheeseburger on a rap album? I guess Lupe. Here's an excerpt from an interview:

And you've written a song from the point of view of a cheeseburger. How does that work?
"Well, I wrote a song called 'Gotta Eat' to try and talk about health in a cool way. I made the cheeseburger into this mafia boss who has a vendetta against humanity, which is to make sure everyone dies of a heart attack. It's all very satirical - the cheeseburger goes to church, but the church is a Chicken Shack, and the friar is actually a deep fat fryer."

So you've done it in quite a humorous way?
"Yes, but it's got a serious message though. In my neighbourhood there are no food stores and there's no attention to nutrition. If you look back at what you've eaten over the month, you're like 'Damn! All I've eaten is cheeseburgers and pizzas!'"

Not many people would think to tackle the obesity issue by writing a song about a cheeseburger. Do you enjoy trying to present difficult issues in quirky, original ways?
"I just love satire. A lot of satire's very funny, but a lot of it's very dark too. When I find a subject I want to write about, I do tend to think 'How can I present it in an entertaining way?', and that's how the cheeseburger song came about. I like a challenge!"

Hiring hell

One of the reasons I've been working crazy hours here at The Corporation is because there's an open headcount on my team. Thus, I've been reviewing resumes of a bunch of people who are interested in joining our department - some who are qualified, many who are not.

One applicant actually approached me several months ago after I spoke at an event and requested an informational interview to learn more about our work. As an obliging panda, I scheduled time to speak with him and realized that he seemed adrift on his career aspirations. He wasn't sure how to demonstrate how his skills and experiences could contribute to a company's efforts so I bid him good luck. And good riddance.

A few months later, this same individual contacted me with the good news that he landed a job, but wanted to learn different salary ranges for similar positions. I was reluctant to give him any information I had, so he let me be.

Well, I guess he either didn't accept that position or he is dissatisfied because he contacted me with the "good" news that he's applying for my open position. Little does he realize that his haranguing and his inability to explain why he would be an asset has put me in the position of completely dismissing his candidacy.

Kids, if you're going to send Panda!!!! your resume, make sure you can back up your qualifications!

Milk makeover

Thanks to an upcoming biopic of slain SF supervisor Harvey Milk, my little neighborhood is undergoing a face lift! The Castro Theatre's historic, gigantic neon sign, which usually reads "C STRO" or "CAST O" might finally illuminate "CASTRO"! And indeed, it's receiving fresh new paint ... to bring it back to its 1970s glory days.

It's fun to see other businesses in the 'hood undergo a short-lived transformation as the backdrop for the film. For example, an old-school "Double Rainbow" ice cream parlor sign has popped up. The bar formerly known as "Daddy's" is sporting a sign that declares "Toad Hall" (was this really a Castro bar in the '70s?). And there are Cutlass Supremes and Chevy Impalas a-plenty up and down the street. Impressively, they all sport the classic California license plate - the black one with the gold letters!

It all makes me want to throw on a velour sweatsuit with burnt sienna, gold and navy stripes!

Do we have to do the splits? I'm a Christian

Roommates A & J came over for some Thai take-out whilst watching several episodes of the defunct television series Popular. One of the campiest, most over-the-top shows ever made, Popular came to a sad demise after only two seasons and one hell of a cliffhanger.

So we watched a few episodes and thoroughly enjoyed re-connecting with Brooke McQueen, Mary Cherry and Nicole Julian, played by a very convincing Tammy Lynn Michaels. We wondered whether or not the wardrobe department realized that she would be the future Mrs. Melissa Ethridge because they certainly dressed her like a power lesbian and gave her haircuts to match!

You cock-blocked McLovin

Last night, after watching Superbad (a much more enjoyable movie with friends than with your parents, and a reminder of how Michael Cera is a hot comedic genius), PorkChop, Blanca, BritDJ and I braved the rains and headed out to get our drink on.

It was a surprisingly good crowd, considering the wretched weather. We ogled bar patrons, danced a bit, told fables of past hook ups and commented on the go-go dancers.

Earlier, I had been texting a very anxious young man whom I had met last week in LA. It seems he lives in Davis and was hoping for a little panda-loving during his weekend visit in San Francisco. But I'm sort of a tricky bastard and told him I was going to be one place, when in fact we were in a different part of town altogether.

Imagine my surprise when I relayed this to Blanca and he said he was doing the same thing with one of his current love interests! Is this something all people do? Or are my friends and I particularly despicable people?

Makes me that much stronger

VH1 is airing Christina Aguilera's "Back to Basics" tour and it's reminding me of the concert - which I attended last year. Danity Kane and the Pussycat Dolls opened for Xtina and it was truly one of the most fun, most energizing concerts I've been to.

More than that, I went to a local bar the night after the concert and there was Christina herself! She was with a group of gals and they were sequestered in the back section with two bodyguards vigilantly preventing people from disturbing her fun times. Of course, I approached one of the guards and asked if I could say hello. He, of course, declined. Then, I asked if he could relay a message - simply to tell her how great she was the night before. Again, with arms folded, he declined.

In any case, I got to see the petite vocalist in person and she did look like she was having a grand time, even if she would have had a better time with Panda!!!!

Happy birthday Roommate A

Yesterday was Roommate A's birthday and we all braved the monsoon (with an umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh) to gather at Pauline's Pizza to indulge in some carbs. Per usual, the post-dinner merry-making led us to the bars and this panda is struggling to motivate today.

Thus, I've been on the couch catching up on my shows while Blanca is at the gym. At least Roommate A had a fun birthday!

Flu season

When I arrived at the gym this evening, Blanca asked why I was so early. Well, I left The Corporation early today because I couldn't do anymore work. I was completely paralyzed ... because my computer was kaput.

Earlier in the day, Mahogany Sparkle sent me a link, which I clicked on. Now, I realize that we're warned not to click on links and not to open attachments, but I like to defy authority and throw caution to the wind! Well, as soon as I clicked on the link, a little pop-up window appeared and announced that "a virus" had been detected in my system and it instructed me to call IT helpdesk immediately.

So, I dialed our helpdesk folk and they instructed me to disconnect from the network and they walked me through some diagnostic tests. Nothing worked, so they said someone would be by to take a look at the machine.

Well, there's not much you can do when your computer isn't plugged into the network. I worked on a document, but wasn't able to print. I cleaned my desk, filed some papers, attended some meetings and just gave up.

I can't tell you how helpless it feels to be disconnected from the world. No e-mail, no gchat, no bloggie. Nada. No one from our not-so-helpdesk ever arrived to help me, so I decided it was a sign from Jod that I should leave. And I did!

Be a cowboy!

Mattress has suggested attending a Siouxsie Sioux concert, which made me think of the classic "Peek-a-Boo" video:

In high school, BulletTosser thought Siouxsie was singing "Be a cowboy!" and I remember a particularly hilarious segment of Beavis & Butthead where they sang and danced to this video. If only I could find that clip.

My bottomlogical clock is ticking

Last night GarGar showed me a text he had sent himself in September, one meant to remind himself that I had said "My bottomlogical clock is ticking!" or some such nonesense. It made us giggle a bit at Juanita MORE's Wednesday night Booty Call party.

We had finished our monthly dinner with Dyson at a nice Asian fusion restaurant where we re-hashed the past weekend, our (lack of) love lives, our jobs and life in general. It was a tasty treat, accompanied by unusual basil-infused cocktails.

And since it was Wednesday, we decided nightcaps were in order so we headed to Juanita's party where we had the chance to glimpse Dyson's new Monopoly-partner and dance to Timbaland!

From Paris to Berlin

Internets, the global economy is kicking my ass! Since assuming primary responsibility for a project at The Corporation a few weeks ago, I have been subjected to conference calls at 6:00am, 9:30pm, 8:00am, 11:00pm, etc. I had to decline a 4:00am call due to a little thing called sleep.

I actually don't mind the early morning or late night calls. In my mind the worst offenders are the ones scheduled around 7:30pm because it's too late for me to stay at the office and it cuts straight into my gym time. By the time these calls are finished, I have no desire to work out. Instead, I gorge myself on a bowl of mac & cheese.

What ever happened to the predictable world of 9 to 5?

Move your body, shake your body

Last night I caught a bit of the Making the Band: Battle of the Sexes special on MTV, previewing the upcoming season of Making the Band 4 where the boys from the recent season and the girls from Danity Kane all move into a house together and make their upcoming albums.

I was a loyal fan of Making the Band 3 where Danity Kane was assembled and I have to admit that I was very excited when they opened for Christina Aguilera a while back.

Making the Band 4 wasn't as interesting to me, but I did catch a few episodes, including the one where Laurie Ann, the crazed choreographer, and Diddy got into a huge fight that ended in Laurie Ann leaving the show. Sadly, that meant the end of her yelling "Boom! Cat! Boom! Boom! Cat!"

So I'm excited for this new show, mostly because I'm looking forward to catching up with my gals from Danity Kane. And I want to hear new songs! I miss Aundrea and Aubrey!

Dance dance dance all night

Most of the country is celebrating the civil rights movement with a day off today, and despite being dead tired from our funtastic weekend in LA, I wanted to see who would be out and about last night. Unfortunately, The Corporation expects us all to be working diligently away today so I aimed to moderate last night.

It was a Fresh weekend - a monthly Sunday dance-a-thon at a fun San Francisco club - so Beetle had purchased some tickets for us while we were in LA. Beetle, Mattress, Selives, Blanca, Ra-ro and I met up as Beetle finished his shift, hopped into some cabs and sped away to the fun times.

We danced, we frolicked, we reveled! We ran into friends like Gymnocent, Throbby, Turtle and Cumtroller! We judged and laughed and spurned the advances of creepy men! We introduced karate chop moves on the dance floor and had a merry time!

To cap the night off, Mattress and I left the party (some of us have to work today) and accompanied Selives to meet his new(ish) man. On the way, Selives begged us to keep mum about his hickeys from LA but as soon as he saw his fellow, he declared, "I have to be honest with you!" and he pulled down his collar to reveal his marks of shame. Mattress and I were shocked! So shocked that we decided it was time to put ourselves to bed after some slices of pizza.

LA story

I've just returned from a whirlwind West Hollywood weekend and I'm tres exhausted. And although it was a short weekend and I have been back in San Francisco for only about an hour, I'm having trouble remembering all the details of the trip. Perhaps it's because my friends and I spent much of the weekend in an inebriated state!

With eight loud and fun gays, there was bound to be fun times, frivolity and even some drama. All in all, it was a fun trip and there were many highlights:

* Spending almost every waking hour of the weekend at The Abbey

* Lunch at the Ivy where Blanca raved and raved about the chopped salad and decided instead to get a rather pricey steak

* Margaritas at Marix where TurboBoob paid us a visit and we got to catch up in person

* Selives finding himself the subject of some very amorous attention, resulting in quite an impressive set of hickeys

* Blanca losing his phone, only to have it recovered (fully charged) by a mysterious maid who recognized one of the recent calls

* A devastated hotel mini-bar

* Mahogany Sparkle declaring to Blanca while waving a menacing finger in his face, "We'll talk about this tomorrow!" and storming out of the hotel room

* Roommate J screaming "bing bong" on our return flight

* A late-night/early-morning heart-to-heart with Selives and Roommates A&J

* A drunken Panda!!!! who screamed at his friends and refused to pay for a round of drinks

* Selives and PorkChop in some very extravagant drag costumes, which resulted in the "potential American Eagle theft" incident that sent Roommates A&J over the edge

* Bill Paxton earning a new nickname; henceforth to be known as Dyson

* Lounging in the jacuzzi while Mahogany Sparkle worked hard and poured drinks

It was a great little getaway, but Panda!!!! sure is tired.

Hooray for (West) Hollywood

I'm not going to The Corporation today. Instead, Blanca, Bill Paxton, PorkChop, Selives, Mahogany Sparkle and Roommates A & J and I all took advantage of Virgin America's 2-for-1 promotion and we're all headed to Los Angeles! To be more exact, we're heading straight to West Hollywood for the weekend.

We've got lunch reservations at The Ivy today so hopefully we'll spot reality star sensation Lauren Conrad! Or maybe I'll get the Britney money shot and I can retire from The Corporation altogether!

Social utility

I don't think I'm doing a very good job at keeping up with the whole internet age. A few days ago, I finally succumbed to all the peer pressure and I built a profile on facebook.

Within minutes, I was sucked into this vortex of widgets and wall-writing and friends and poking and Heroes superpowers and lord knows what else! It was all very overwhelming and I suspect I unknowingly sent messages and posted comments to dozens of people in my "network."

I've found old friends from high school, current colleagues at The Corporation and folks whose faces look vaguely familiar. My profile photo is a typically un-serious one - and one that I hope will keep me out of trouble. The pace at which this site advances is swift and, as a working panda, I'm not sure I can keep up.
And as I get further and further mired into this digital world, I also hope I don't devolve into a facebook junkie who can't keep a job or interact in the "real" world.

Like, omigod! Totally gag me with a spoon

So all day yesterday and today, The Corporation has invested in some training for our department. We're focusing on "executive presence" which essentially means working on our speaking and presentation skills.

Once again, we get to experience the embarrassment of viewing ourselves on camera, critiquing each other's oratory styles and trying not to stutter.

Our trainer, a very energetic woman with a tendency to jump around the room and run around the table, stopped me mid-sentence yesterday and said I talked like a "valley girl." She said that this would change as I age - as my peer group gets older and I no longer surround myself with people who speak with "valley girl" inflections.

Clearly, she has not met my friends and she doesn't realize just how much MTV I watch.

Just like Jessica, Diddy, Kelly and Vanessa

Internets, I'm upset. My skin simply has not been cooperating recently. I don't think it's fair that I'm at an age where I can get both wrinkles and pimples! It makes me think I should consider heeding the advice of some of today's most celebrated stars and order me some Proactiv.

Working brunch

The Corporation's cafe has gone all fancy on me! I've always appreciated the food at our cafe and I tend to enjoy much of it, but recently, I've been treated to several breakfast treats!

Last week we were offered a croissant sandwich with eggs, ham and swiss cheese. And this morning, I was pleasantly shocked to find that the cafe was serving eggs benedict. For a mere $4.95!

If this keeps up, I'm going to be one huge panda.

Hearing aid

This morning while riding muni home from the gym, I noticed a little old lady get on the train. I could see that she had something attached to one side of her head but I couldn't quite make it out. Was it a feather? Some sort of barrette? I was quite excited to see what fashion accessory she was rocking.

When she turned around, I saw that she had a little, yellowed rectangular piece of paper pinned to her hair. In big capital letters someone had written the word "DEAF" to alert passersby.

Celeb sighting: Deep South - The Big and the Easy

Last night Blanca and I were making the rounds and came upon a creature with ginormous muscles and a busted face. Gays were circling him, staring at him and generally all a-twitter. It was Matthew Rush, gay porn sensation who, to me, looks like he'd have a very difficult time buying shirts that fit. Perhaps that's why he opts for sleeveless ones.

Get back to work!

I'm ready for the Writer's Guild of America strike to end. After this week's excellent episode of Gossip Girl (Ooh! How is B going to get her revenge on everyone and climb back to the top of the high school pecking order??), I'm faced with the sad reality that there are no new episodes to air. I'm so distressed. I guess I'll have to watch The Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious in the meantime.

Conversating

Dickinator's been in town for some sort of fancy shmancy biotech/finance conference and fortunately she was able to spare time to dine with me last night. I met Dickinator with her boyfriend and sister at a lovely local seafood restaurant where we enjoyed a very delicious meal.

It occurred to me, though, that our conversating may have seemed unusual if any of the other restaurant patrons were eavesdropping. Among other topics, we discussed the merits of vaginal birth versus planned c-section, rescuing animals from house fires, Jamie Lynn Spears, women who desire to be tighter down there, San Francisco restaurants, child labor in the garment industry, skiing, ugly babies and pimping out a van to ride around Dickinator's and my college reunion.

I love catching up with friends, especially when over lovely food and a good bottle of pino noir!

Chocolatey goodness

A lady in our department received a nice box of assorted chocolates over the holidays and has left it unattended in her cube while she's vacationing for two weeks in Belize.

Before leaving, she let us know that we're welcome to partake of her sweets so Panda!!!! has been wearing out the carpet between our desks. Today, I had a dark chocolate treat: with marshmallow and caramel on the inside!

I suspect that by the time she returns, there will be only one lonely chocolate in the fancy gold box.

Lunch hour

Walking back to the office after lunch today, I noticed a group of people crowded around a spot on the sidewalk. There was obviously some spectacle that compelled these folks to stop and to take photos with their camera phones.

So, of course I stopped to see what they were gawking at and I saw what seemed to be a large red-tailed hawk, perched atop the carcass of a pigeon, nonchalantly picking away at the flesh and enjoying its lunch. Yum!

I am a wise old sage

The other night, I was discussing life with one of Blanca's former flames. A man who's all of 21 years old. This kid spent some time lamenting about how old he was getting and how he only meets men, er, boys who are younger than him.

He recounted a recent tale of how he went to a club and met an 18-year-old who declared, "I guess 21 isn't too old." I guess that sort of thing happens at clubs that are 18+. I certainly wouldn't know.

Later I found myself dishing out life lessons to this young pup. My sentences began with "When I was your age..." and "Just wait a few years..." My 31 (nearly 32) years of experiences helped me provide great comfort and wisdom.

Obviously, this put Panda!!!! in a fantastic mood. Since when did I become the oldest man in the world?

Le diplôme

Everyone warned me that choosing French literature as one of my undergraduate majors was "worthless" and that I'd never need it in "real life." And to an extent, I agree with those assessments. I did, however, get to spend a semester in Paris so it didn't really matter to me.

But today, at The Corporation, I actually had to use my rusty French skills! I spent about half an hour watching a Parisian news broadcast that aired yesterday and prominently featured The Corporation. Then I had the fine task of summarizing it for my boss and some folks in our media relations team.

Now, who's the sucker for reading Illusions perdues? Oh, wait...

Potty party

It's been several months since I did the 80s night thing, but since The Hills has ended, I thought I would partake in some new wave, neon colored, lace gloved revelry last night. So I met up with Kitten to frolic among those who appreciate Joy Division, Morrissey, Madonna and 80 cent drinks!

As I've mentioned, the party gets quite out of hand and it's usually packed with excited and excitable boys and girls. Consequently, the one stall in the ladies' room gets lots of use while the urinals in the men's room see a pretty steady stream of action, but the wait is never unbearable.

So last night, I was relieving myself and minding my own business when suddenly, a group of drunk-as-drunk-can-be girls burst into the men's room and one "lady" after another proceeded to pull down her pants, back up against the urinal (flesh on dirty dirty porcelain!) and urinate! So classy.

Man, what a bitchin' dude

Watching Bonnie Sommerville in Cashmere Mafia last night got me thinking about her short-lived show Grosse Pointe from several years back. More specifically, it got me wondering whatever happened to her co-star, Al Santos, who played dreamy Johnny Bishop. He was the dim-witted hunk whom all the gals (and the actor who played his pops) adored on the show-within-a-show.

What a tangled web

As I mentioned before, Blanca has gotten himself entangled in his own version of a gay San Francisco telenovela. And yesterday the situation seems to have become even more complicated, with yet another one of these friends vying for Blanca's affections.

Blanca claims innocence in these antics, and I almost believe that he does nothing to encourage these gays to throw themselves at him.

What I find most perplexing though is that this group of "friends" has no problem all going after the same man. I couldn't see myself waiting for Mahogany Sparkle's budding relationship to end, only to pounce on his lovah. Nor could I see myself seeking out one of Selives's old flames, knowing the strain it would place on our friendship. Where are the morals of today's gay youth?

Which one's Carrie?

I thoroughly enjoyed last night's premiere episode of Cashmere Mafia, a tale of four successful businesswomen trying to balance their upward mobility with family and social demands in a hectic New York City.

The premise is startlingly similar to Sex and the City, which shared the same creator and producers, but maybe there's less focus on sex and more focus on the tensions between life in the corner office and seeking matrimonial bliss.

In any case, the costumes were fierce, the ladies were lovely and I could totes see shades of myself and my friends in this foursome.

Multi-purpose

The "storm of the century" hasn't quite abated yet, but it looks like the end is near. Everything's wet and there's debris everywhere.

San Francisco Bay Area citizens are dealing with the storm's multiple effects: power outages, toppled trees, leaky roofs, etc. And some apparently are coming up with creative solutions to their problems.

Roommate J and I were on the phone yesterday as he looked out the window and spotted a man whose van had apparently sprung a leak in its roof. To keep the inside of his vehicle dry, he was wrapping his car in green saran wrap! Practical and colorful!

Chicken fried Friday

It's a good thing Panda!!!! doesn't make new year's resolutions, especially of the sort that consider the quality of my diet. Otherwise, I think this year's would have lasted all of four days.

After Mattress, Blanca and I spent the night at a fun and frivolous birthday celebration, I somehow ended up at a diner, scarfing down chicken fried steak with gravy and eggs. I certainly wasn't hungry. And of all the things on the menu, why did I order quite possibly the least healthy option? It must have been my body yearning to have all the alcohol soaked up by something greasy.

It was a dark and stormy day

The local news is all abuzz about the confluence of three rainstorms hitting San Francisco this weekend. The first began yesterday and we're in the brunt of it currently.

My toes are still wet from coming to work this morning and I'm not sure my umbrella will function properly when I leave today. I, like a lot of people, experienced the ignoble phenomenon of walking along and having my umbrella burst inside out thanks to a gust of wind.

It looks like we should get about eight inches of rain before the weekend ends and we're looking to experience winds of 70 mph. Sheesh!

People at work are reporting felled trees, flooding and power outages. In fact, our office building a few miles south of the city has closed for the day due to a power outage. Mahogany Sparkle suffered a similar fate and lost power in the middle of the night. This morning, she woke up and had to get dressed in the dark. I wonder if she wore her lacy unmentionables over her slacks?

I'm sick *cough*

One of the problems of calling sick and spending the day in bed is that you eventually have to return to work and catch up. When I woke up yesterday, I knew I was in no condition to spend the day at The Corporation, so Panda!!!! made a phone call to the boss lady and stayed in bed.

Halfway through the day, I moved from my bed to my couch, where I enjoyed a marathon of America's Next Top Model (Remember when Rebecca fainted? When Tyra went to town on Tiffany? That cycle was delicious!) before returning back to my bed for an hour or so.

I did eventually move back to my couch for some more quality television viewing (Gossip Girl! Project Runway! Newport Harbor!) before turning in for the night.

But today I've returned to work and I'm scrambling to catch up. With the new year celebration, I feel like it's been ages since I've been at work and I'm falling woefully behind. I've had a few moments today where I've just stared at my computer, paralyzed by the work that needs to get done but unable to figure out what I need to do to start it. I wish I could return home and resume watching Tyra berate her model contestants.

This is the gayest panini party I've ever been to

Beetle got a new panini grill for Christmas so he and Mattress hosted a little impromptu panini party last night. We hit the grocery store and bought up some bread, ham, turkey, cheese and mayonnaise.

As Blanca and Beetle made two delish kinds of aioli, and as we fired up the grill, most of the party sat in the other room, first watching a Michael Jackson concert, then switching to a Celine Dion DVD. Later, it was time for "Moulin Rouge" and apparently time for Mattress to put makeup on.

Now, I haven't been to many panini parties before, but I do think this one takes the cake for being the gayest.

Good morning 2008!

Happy new year, internets! Last night was quite the celebratory evening, beginning at a lovely, low-key house party that featured a spectacular view and pomegranate-infused beverages, moving to Juanita MORE's New Year's bash, then to the club where Panda!!!! dance, dance, danced all night!

Along the way, there were some memorable events:

* Bill Paxton's Swedish shirt, an interesting piece that featured an extra panel of fabric. Was it origami? A potato sack? Couture?

* A drunk old gay who thought I was Japanese and whom Blanca and I convinced we were dorm-mates and anthropology majors at UC Berkeley

* Dancing with Beetle whilst wearing a new year's tiara and blowing those paper noise-makers with eyes crossed

* A gaggle of spazzy gays who took every opportunity to throw their arms into the air and gyrate their hips, especially when the DJ played a horrible remix of a terrible Michael Jackson song

* Searching for Blanca's keys after he had thrown them in the garbage in his haste to urinate

* Blown-out texts and phone calls throughout the night to/from our friends in other time zones

2008 has officially started off with a bang! This is looking to be one crazy year...