Dear Diary,

As a little Panda!!!! in high school, I would often lounge with VALedictorian and SameBrain at SameBrain's parents' home in the hills. We'd watch television, eat bad food (and the occasional orange thanks to SameBrain's mom) and talk about our friends and enemies.

Once, I found a diary that SameBrain had started in junior high school. Being a crafty little panda, I expertly forged some entries in the diary (SameBrain's handwriting was fairly simple to mimic). Months later, SameBrain's mom found the diary and asked her about some of the more questionable and controverial entries!

Well, SameBrain found the diary this past weekend and re-typed the forged entries. Internets, here they are, for your reading pleasure...

Jan. 27 (next to graphic of smiling sun)
Today at lunch I was kissing Brian behind the gym at lunch and Christine found us. Boy was I embarassed! Because she said we're neighbors so we can't go together. I'm very upset with her. She is so lame. I want to stab her in the eye! I could almost die! Except I got a B- on my math test. I can't believe stupid [VALedictorian] beat me! I'm going to beat her up!

Jan. 28 (next to cartoon of [VALedictorian] smiling with a black eye)
It was a very good day because when she was eating lunch (I mean [VALedictorian] the stupid girl who beat me in math. I went over to where she sits and I punched her in the eye. I hope she goes blind and then she couldn't see the math test and she would get an F-!

Jan. 29 (two unsmiley faces)
Brian and I broke up today because he said his mom didn't want us to go together anymore. It's all that dumb Christine's fault. I want her to die.

Feb. 12 (three smiley faces)
It sure is a good thing Brian and I broke up because today he showed me that he has marijuana in his pocket. He's a very bad boy. Drugs are so harmful to your body. I think it's a bad idea for anyone to get high.